Friday, July 29, 2011

What do preschoolers and sexy vampires have in common?

Burger King kids meals!

These are photos of the "toy" that was included in my three-year-old granddaughter's kids meal a few days ago.

When you open up this plastic thingy, this is what you get:

I have a couple of problems with this.  First of all, this doesn't even qualify as a "toy."  It's purely an advertising tool that doesn't even break a sweat trying to be an actual toy.

Then there's the problem of extreme age inappropriateness.  I know all kids who eat Burger King kids meals aren't three years old, like my granddaughter.  Frankly, she's too young to even understand what this toy means.

But I would estimate the proper ages for children to consume Burger King kids meals to be ages 12 and under.  Does anyone in their right mind think children in this age groups should be an advertising target for this movie?  Yes, I know there will be the few crazy parents who will bring their toddlers to this film.  (Years ago, I sat behind a toddler whose parents thought it would be a great idea to bring her to see "Alien."  She screamed that she was scared the whole time and tried to face backwards in her front row seat with her tiny, dimpled hands tightly covering her eyes. I wonder what she grew up to be?)  So there are a few crazies out there who will do this, but I don't think that covers even a slight fraction of a percentage point of American parents.  At least I hope not.

I know fast food restaurants often give toys for children under age three if asked, so there are no small parts they can choke on.  There were no small parts contained with this toy.

There was, however, a $5 coupon for any "Eclipse" merchandise I would like to buy for my child.  She could be sporting sexy vampire apparel for a bargain price.

What in the world is Burger King thinking advertising about a new addition to a saga of movies based on books about vampires.  Young sexy ones.  And I don't have any hang ups about young vampire sex, except when it comes to children.  Watching it.  Being exposed to it.  Opening their Burger King kids meals and thinking the photo inside is cool.

Gotta go.  I need to look up movie times for "Eclipse."  I think I might just bring my granddaughter to that instead of "Whinnie the Pooh." I'll make sure to buy her a T-shirt first.  I wonder if they come in a size 3T?

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